Moving on up

I recently recieved a huge promotion at work. And for the first time since I moved to Arizona, I feel like I'm in a position where many of my skills can fully shine. People come to me and I solve their problems, fix their broken things... I wave my magic wand and make it all better. I'm needed and counted on, and in a position of huge responsibility, and yet given freedom to manage my priorities. And they pay me for this! This is what I do naturally... help.

Part of me is scared. Part of me thinks its the sign of the end times. :D That I'm so happy, and things are going so well. A beautiful spirit shares my days and nights. Surely our solarsystem is about to be ripped to shreds at any moment by a passing black hole??

But there are little sadnesses that linger. A past friend who left a long time ago, but it still feels like she's still leaving. She can't get far enough way. She tricked me into being her father figure, against my many protests, then rejects me for holding the position. I don't really care how or why it had to go wrong. I just miss her. A lot. I wonder what she's up to, and where she goes for her chai. What she's writing in her notebooks, what's on her mind...?

all things that begin, end. but that doesn't mean i want them to. it doesn't mean that i'm happy about it.

but i don't know what i did, so i don't know what i should want to undo. and that goes for so many mistakes that i've made in the last 5 years. so so many. so much given away, so much stolen, amounting to so little, like junk bonds i guess: junk friends. in that way i've felt impoverished for so long. i have very very few friends now. even less than i think, i'm sure. and i'm so afraid to claim them as my friends, so that when they leave, i won't have lost them.

ah, how does a happy post turn into a spill like this. it's the insomnia. it came back yesterday. perfectly timed with my official promotion. my brain is abuzz. and much that has lain in the dust is being uncovered. there is, apparently, more for me to lose.

Earthdance 2006

From Earthdance 2006

wander the desert for long enough

and you will eventually find yourself...

 

deep inhale

i am still out of breath. winded from the sands and winds of the elements. winded from the chemistry and surreality of those memories. wondering how it could all be so perfect. hoping i will be able to freeze it all permanently in my mind, the pinnacle of existance. the simplicity of being. walking with, holding hands with, and kissing and angel.

Borat has created a diplomatic row

US President George Bush is to host White House talks on British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.

Cohen, 35, creator of Ali G, has infuriated the Kazakhstan government with his portrayal of Borat, a bumbling Kazakh TV presenter.

And now a movie of Borat's adventures in the US has caused a diplomatic incident."
(read the article)

the next piano album

okay, so i made all these recordings in 2003, eight of them, in fact. six of which were given names (which is only done after they're finished.) some of the recordings were absolutely beautiful, my favorite was "dance of the butterflies". some of the recordings were okay, but they weren't great.

and then you add on the frustration that i was using the pianos in the ASU practice rooms to record with. many of which were in bad shape, all the rooms had loud blowing AC units putting out all sorts of noise (which i was able to remove pretty well, surprisingly). but nothing can get rid of the guy in the room next to me practicing trumpet.

so then cut to present. i've played the piano a LOT since then, i just haven't been recording much. i just recently purchased a sound library for my keyboard of three pianos, that sounds fantastic. it sounds so good, it's hard to believe. they sound better than my live recordings of a real piano. which has sort of re-ignited my desire to finally finish this piano album.

and then a possible title for the album just popped into my head about five minutes ago, but i can't say it aloud yet. don't want to jinx anything. it is sad that many of the people who i would say were fans of my piano music have long since drifted away. but then i haven't exactly been prolific either. maybe that's something i think i'm finally changing.

i remember only the beautiful

another piano piece

Burning Man goodness

 
I clearly have to get myself to Burning Man one of these years. 

oceans of my eyes

Press play to hear my newest piano recording...

midnight moonlight

midnight moonlight
still frozen starlight
whispering fragile silken strands
inside the oceans of my eyes
rough waters break and splash
the salty kiss leaves me
breathless and dreaming
basking in the midnight moonlight
teardrops of stars falling through sky
raining down